One of the Compassion children we sponsor, Emmanuel, wrote us a letter recently and part of his prayer for us was: God, make them rich so they can continue to help me and others like me.
I've never wanted to be rich. But his prayer made me want to be rich. Compared to him, I am rich. But I would love to be rich in an American way. My dream, still, is to get a huge house around here with 10 bedrooms and be able to adopt more children, house homeless and single moms, and just have an open house for whoever needs it. And I'd love to be able to put good food on the table every day. Have enough money to be able to just write and not have to work on Web sites. That would free up my day so I could actually do things like cook and clean.
I can live with a used car, the blankets hanging over our bedroom window as curtains, and the holes in my socks. It's not always the most thrilling, but I can deal with it. Sometimes I want new things. New clothes, a car, a nice, appealing brand new bed set. But ya know... prayers like Emmanuel's make me wonder why I'd really want that. Sure, it's nice and all, but I'd rather "feel good" knowing my money is helping him buy a new shirt (someone who doesn't have over fifteen in his closet, like me), like the one he has on in the new picture he sent us (above). I'd rather "feel good" by looking at my old bed set with a picture of these children above my bed, reminding me what my sacrifice pays for.
Money. I'd like more of it. I'd like to be rich. And while the comfort of being able to pay our bills every month would be nice... my biggest reason for wanting to be rich is because Emmanuel wants us to be.
Because he trusts us to use our money to help others.
His heart humbles me. Not always do I want to use my money for others instead of myself. Sometimes a new shirt seems more appealing than sending a gift to our Compassion children or handing $200 over to a stranger. But Emmanuel's humbling prayer made me realize one thing...
Your treasure is where your heart is.
13 comments:
I like this post! It reminds me of our Compassion child Samara. It is certainly important for us to manage our money well so that we can be more generous. We strive to not be in debt except our house so that we can give more to our local mission and children like Samara. Debt strangles our ability to give.
Blessings! JOanne
What about your kids?
I've read your blog...and what you write about concerning the kids who are in third world countries who are endlessly suffering and how you achingly desire to help them...is nice.
Dont get me wrong I'm not saying it's not an admirable quality to want to help them, but it becomes a little questionable as to why your so obsessed with that idea of "saving' another person when you have kids of your own that you speak so little about wanting to nurture and provide for...it makes me a little bit confused....seems a bit backwards.
I have read lots about how you want to help disabled children and homeless people and starving kids...but not much about how you foster a realtionship with your own children who are right in front of you every day.
Just a thought.
Anonymous... that is one of the silliest questions anyone has ever asked me.
What about my kids? I think you could ask my husband how I feel about that one and I'm sure you'll understand.
I am not obsessed with "saving" people in poor countries. My heart aches for them as Jesus' does. I can't even help that. So, if that's being obsessed... I'm completely content being obsessed.
As for my kids... I'm obsessed with them too... :)
As for fostering the relationship with my babies... 2.5yo and an 11mo... well, let's just say I barely have a life. And I'm okay with that because when they smile... I understand.
I'm assuming you don't know me in real life, or you would have (hopefully) realized how crazy this question was.
You might like this: http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2009/03/to-my-children.html
Im sure I could ask your husband how great of a mother you and would get a warm response.. I dont doubt that, thats not what I was saying.
No I don't know you guys...so that wouldn't really work. That was really kind of my whole point. You write a public blog... so people you don't know are reading it. All they (I) have to go off of is what you say here in your posts. Which are obviously heartfelt and full of passion for Jesus.
Until now (thanks to your link) I didn't see a word posted about your kids at all, so that's where my comment came from. That's all.
It wasn't an attack, simply something I noticed and was confused by.
I see... well, if you want to read about my kids it's not going to happen too often on my blog. I don't get into too many details about them for safety reasons, but if you're that curious about my kids, here's some more posts for ya:
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2008/09/being-mother.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2009/03/my-baby-almost-died.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2009/04/evies-bday.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2009/02/this-baby.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2009/02/my-best-lil-gal-buddy.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2008/12/whoa.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2008/11/mommy-advice-please.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2008/10/hallway-surprise.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2008/10/being-comfortable.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2008/08/george-jrs-birth-story.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2008/06/how-do-they-grow-so-fast.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2008/12/worst-experience-of-my-life-thus-far.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2008/02/music-that-gets-me.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2008/03/so-we-know-gender-of-baby-2.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2008/11/creating-insecurities.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2008/04/happy-first-birthday-baby-girl.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2007/11/more-than-writer.html
http://blog.ashleyweis.com/2008/04/watching-them-sleep.html
Oh, if you need more, let me know. :) Plenty more where that came from.
sha-zam...
Ashley
You go girl
Love
Dad
We have a world vision sponsor child named Halima. Sometimes I find myself praying God if only we had a little more just to give to these children who are in desperate need.
The best way we have come up with to help as much as we can is to cut back ourselves, little by little it adds up to make a difference.
You are so right, these children give so much perspective.
By the way, just wanted to add, the love you have for your own children is obvious, it shines through the posts you have written about them. You have simply been honest about how sometimes being a mother of little ones is not always a piece of cake. I always appreciate the honesty of your writing.
OK! I stand totally corrected ;) Thank u for making the effort to provide links, and i apologize if I sounded mean or anything with my previous posts....really not what I intended...I was just genuinely puzzled! (But am no longer)
Take care Ashley.
it didn't come off as mean. just strange, especially since you are not leaving a name and you say you do not know me. i'm not sure why an absolute stranger would care so much about me posting about my kids or not. no one has ever said that one before to me or anyone else i know who loves orphans... i didn't realize how puzzling it would be to a stranger. but maybe i should put all those links in my sidebar to avoid future situations like this.
The reason it comes off as puzzling is because of what you chose to write about. Which includes orphans a lot of the time (or some of the time to be fair) and orphans are children in the world.
Your children are children in the world too. But you are their mother, so your children in the world -are blessed. As their mother, they receive the things from you that the orphans don't receive, since by definition an orphan is motherless.
Its very clear you want to help these motherless children, but it is not as clear that you want to see your own children grow and thrive. Because you dont write about them, I have no clue what your attchment or nuturing status is to them -which is only fair since you put yourself out there in a public arena where you know peole who dont know you are reading your heart and mind.
This is why I asked the question to begin with.
I know this sounds off putting, and I'm sorry. Its really not. Its just a person who doesn't know you, asserting something that came to mind when reading your heartfelt posts about the children in the world who are without a mother (or father).
You reach out to/write about these children who are alone but you don't write about your own children (or hadn't in the past few moths, which is when I started reading you). You want to nurture the orphans but you have children in front of you who need to be nurtured...since I didn't see a shining light for them as I did in your passionate dialogues about the orphans, that's why i asked for a clarification of your priorities ... i just didn't see why you were so concerned with other children when you have your own who need you, much like you feel an orphan does.
The fact that you "want to avoid future situations like this" says to me that you are very uncomfortable with anyone asking questions about your intents, even though they are simply observing what you have put out there for them to interpret on their own. Its OK to question and be questioned. You don't have to be offended. I didn't say anything outright offensive, I simply asked a question, based off of what info I was allowed from reading your public blog and not knowing you personally.
So, if you don't want people asking you questions that are not sugarcoated in "good jobs", but ones that evoke a healthy questioning perspective, then maybe you should put that in your sidebar.
I really am not intending to piss you off. I just am being straightforward and honest about my perspective, which you have invited by putting your thoughts out for the world to see.
Anonymous-
You didn't piss anyone off, so no worries.
However, the thing here is this: Orphans DO need love and care that they aren't getting. Ashley often is writing in a way that calls others to think of these issues.
Our own Children are loved through and through. I know of no mother as intense and loving as Ashley. Sometimes I have to pull her back from being too protective and so forth of our kids.
We both share about them from time to time, but one must realize that private affairs like children ought to be guarded. Some things can be put out there, but not all things all the time.
We do our best not to take offense. As I imagine Ashley always welcomes comments and questions, but perhaps it is the way it came accross? We ought to tread as lightly as possible whenever we deal with other persons... do we always do that? No! But we ought to, so please tread lightly and ask gently. yet I understand it is tough to put tone into writing.
Blessings and all the best,
-g-
I'm not mad or offended, just puzzled by your puzzledness.
You can go right ahead and ask whatever questions you'd like and so can anyone else.
My children know they are loved. And Jesus knows what kind of mother I am.
Let Him be the judge.
You said: Because you dont write about them, I have no clue what your attchment or nuturing status is to them -which is only fair since you put yourself out there in a public arena where you know peole who dont know you are reading your heart and mind.
But honestly, I really don't think it's necessary to prove my attachment or nurturing status of my children to you.
My light shines for them every day and night and they know this. To me, that's all that matters. I really don't think I need to "clarify my priorities" to someone who refuses to tell me her name... or anyone for that matter.
Jesus knows.
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